Finished my Headspace Journey

I'm sure I've mentioned in the past my love for meditation and mindfulness.  It's really been life-changing for me and has put me in a happier place.

Today I have cause for celebration. A little over a year ago I first started meditation with an app (believe it or not) called getsomeheadspace and today I finished the series. That's 365 20 minute meditations!

I didn't manage to finish in exactly a year because I didn't manage to sit to meditate daily, but I still feel this is an amazing personal accomplishment.  Here's how my life has changed as a direct result of meditating daily this past year:

• I am more aware of everyday moments.  For example, I have decided I don't like minty toothpaste, I just always use it because I always have.
• I am more aware of the choices I am making while I am making them and am less attached to my convictions.  I'm more flexible.
• I am treating my body better and making healthy choices for eating, sleeping and exercises.
• I have managed to find total recovery from post-partum depression and post traumatic stress disorder
• I have less emotional outbursts and feel like my emotions are not something to worry about.
• I see life from a better perspective and don't get hung up on little things
• I enjoy helping people more
• I am a better mother and wife
• I am better at letting go of what I can't control
• I have less expectations and go with the flow more often.

It's a bit of a crazy list and makes me seem as if I was quite unbalanced before I started meditation, but I suppose in a lot of way I was. I'm 100% grateful for all of these positive changes and thrilled to have found a way to unwind and take a step back from this hectic world to just find some peace.

I'm going to be continuing on my meditation journey by revisiting some of the topics I found in Headspace as well as continuing to follow meditation challenges as they come up (there's a free one available now with Deepak Choprah) and by practicing yoga and mediation with my teacher here in Milan.  There's just too much to gain in continuing to stop now. I feel like it's a lifelong habit that will keep me younger, grounded and healthy for longer.

I wish you the same success if you decide that you'd also like to meditate. Headspace is a great place to start.  If you do let me know how it goes!

Then & Now - My Little Pony

I always thought I'd be one of those mums who limited television to 1/2 hour a day and came up with loads of creative activities to do with my children. I pictured us spending the afternoons baking, crafting and imagining our days away.

In reality I'm more like one of those mums who uses TV as a babysitter on occasion.  There are days when I don't have the energy to come up with creative crafts and to deal with the cleanup that follows and so Sera is plonked down in her very own mini tweed armchair and I'm free to get some of my work done, or the house in order or dinner on the table. I have felt guilty about this in the past, but I also know that I'm a pretty great mum when I do spend one on one time with the little cutie and I get a lot of that kind of time in as well.

A lot of the shows that I used to watch as a kid have been re-invented and re-styled for today's generation of little ones.  Probably every parent feels nostalgic for their own childhood as they watch their kids grow.  I know I spend loads if time thinking of the 'good-old days' and am having a lot of trouble adjusting to the new styles.  For me one of the biggest changes is to my beloved My-Little Ponies.

Here is an interesting chart I found on a My Little Pony fan site addressing the change in designs and names since the original series.  Though I appreciate the artwork and style of the new ponies by Lauren Faust, I think that the 80's versions were more child friendly, while the modern counterparts seem more appropriate for teens.

I am lucky enough to have kept some ponies from my own collection that I have given to Sera as a gift.  She current plays with Glory, Sunbeam, and Posey, and has two of the original Sea-Horse babies which she used in the tub and pool.  It's going to save me from ever having to buy the new versions of the same horses and I love the fact that these toys didn't end up in a landfill somewhere.

Sera doesn't watch My Little Pony at the moment; it's too frightening and intense fr her.  She really enjoys the toys though and makes up her own adventures.

I was thinking about showing her the older versions but revisiting them on You tube I've found that they're probably for older kids too as there are quite a few monsters in them. I wonder how much damage I'm carrying around due to my many hours in front of the TV as a kid .

You can have a look at the pilot episode here.

Did you watch My Little Pony growing up? Did you have any of the toys? Do you still have them somewhere in a closet or storage room? I want to know!

My little pony, my little pony,
what does the future hold?

A Letter from A Reader: PCOS

I got a mail today from a reader I thought I would share with you because maybe some of the info could be helpful. The following letter was translated and adapted from Italian:

Hi Jessicka... how are you? I am really enjoying your blog. The other day I read your posts about autoimmunity (I've read them all but don't know too much about this topic). I do, however, have first hand experience with PCOS which I have been battling for quite a few years now. I had been managing it with the birth-control pill but also suffer from high cholesterol and therefore the pill can be dangerous because of its' association with thrombosis. Without the pill my ovaries are a complete mess! I have high levels of the wrong, male hormones and I lose breast tissue as well as other typical problems with PCOS. I have seen many doctors without any concrete results or advice. They always suggested the BCP. I decided to start my own research as to an alternative. I found out that there is a medicine called Metformin that is used to treat diabetes to control insulin levels in the blood which has had some results in controlling PCOS as well. Since starting this medicine I have seen some changes and thought I would let you know about it too.... maybe it could be some help? You could talk with your doctor about it. How are you treating your PCOS? Did you have problems conceiving Sera? I don't ovulate... I think it will be very difficult for me to conceive when I'm ready to have a family. It's been two years since I have stopped taking the pill and haven't seen any signs of ovulation. I'm not actively searching for a pregnancy but would be very happy if one were to happen. Kisses to you and little Sera... sharing this with someone else who can understand is always useful.


I checked with the author if I could share this mail with you because I think that a lot of what she says and the questions that she asks could be helpful for someone else in the same situation.

Dear________,

PCOS is a very distressing Syndrome because it's not life threatening or debilitating but it is very alienating. Although it won't kill you or make you too sick to function, for a woman of child-bearing age, a diagnosis of PCOS is still something hard to digest. It means that you may not ever be able to conceive children and that if you can you will probably have a hard time doing so. It means you might not feel or look as feminine as you'd like to. In my case, my PCOS manifests itself in severe acne on my chin, unwanted excessive hair growth, a small breast, and extremely painful periods... all things that don't scream attractiveness. You can also feel alienated because seeing how PCOS is relatively common, the people who suffer from it are often overlooked by the medical community and the syndrome can be brushed off as insignificant. Doctors don't seem to be serious about finding a solution to a PCOS problem. It's frustrating and unfair. On top of that, telling a woman she may not be able to have children and that she's full of testosterone and there's nothing she can do about it except take potentially dangerous hormones is damaging to morale and can lead to all kinds of psychological problems. Sharing the burden of living with PCOS is a great way to counteract this and I'm very glad you wrote.

I have heard of the use of Metformin in PCOS treatment before. It seems that a lot of women are having good results with the drug. There has been some research linking PCOS with diferent types of diabetes and a mis-processing of Insulin, so that ma be why Metformin is successful. I'm not by any means an expert on the subject and due to my other medical issues try to avoid any pharmaceuticals in general. I will make sure to mention it to my doc at my next appointment however and see what he thinks.

I guess you can say I am currently 'treating' my PCOS with diet and careful monitoring. It has only been 4 months since I stopped taking the BCP myself but so far I haven't had any of the my usual symptoms except for irregular cycles. The diet I'm following calls for the elimination of all carbohydrates and instead consumption of good sources of protein, fat and fresh vegetables. Eliminating the carbs also eliminated huge fluctuations in your insulin levels throughout the day, so perhaps it's working much in the same way as the Metformin. You can read more about the diet here. In your case, if you decide to undertake a diet like this one I would suggest a cholesterol test a month or two after starting to make sure that your cholesterol is under control.


I have had PCOS for as long as I've been an adult and was told, based on my hormone blood tests, that I would not be able to have children without hormone therapy and infertility treatments. I was sure I wanted a child but didn't want to become a science experiment so I didn't start the treatments. Instead I decided to start getting to know my body better. I did research on fertility and PCOS and then registered for a website to help me track my cycles and fertility. You say that you don't ovulate. Do you know that for sure? I thought I didn't ovulate either until I joined Fertility Friend and started tracking my body temperature every morning as well as other fertility signs. I also purchased ovulation strips on line and used them whenever I saw a fluctuation in my body temperature. They're much cheaper than the pharmacy or supermarket brands. I wasn't hoping for much after what the doctors had said, but one day in May the strip came back with 2 pink marks, claiming I was ovulating! I couldn't believe it because it had been over 70 days since my last period... but who was I to doubt? Sera was conceived that morning.

When she was born she was 60 days overdue--- hahahaha.... that's a side note.

PCOS can be tricky because it's unpredictable... In my case my cycle was super long but then one day an egg got through. It might be the case in yours as well. Or it's possible that you find a doc who gives you just the right meds for a while until an egg gets through. Or you change your diet and an egg gets through. Who knows? Doctors certainly don't and it's easier for them to tell you it's impossible.


My advise to you would be to start getting to know your body... I still use Fertility Friend to track my cycles and signs/symptoms even though I'm not hoping for another pregnancy. It makes me feel more in control of things and helps me to keep an eye on my PCOS. I'd also recommend changing your diet to one that helps with your PCOS symptoms by eliminating aggravating foods for me AIP/Paleo sems to work. There's no cure for PCOS but it can be kept under control.

All the best,
Jess

PS. Here's a nice little article that I also mentioned yesterday that might be of some help.

What I've Been Doing Wednesday

Has it really been a week since I've posted? Naughty me!  Here's a quick catchup on what you've missed:

Sera started 'Sezione Primavera' which is a grade between Pre-school and Kindergarten for kids born from January to May. In Italy the grade a child is in is determined by the year they were born and not from September to September like in Canada.  Sera was born in 2011 so can't qualify for real Kindergarten but is too old for Preschool/daycare cause she's basically at the same level as the kids born 28 days earlier than her.  Sezione Primavera is for the kids born from January though the springtime of the year following who will turn three this year but don't officially qualify for actual Kindergarten.

All this said, the insermento* is going horribly.  Sera seems to hate her class and cries a lot every morning when I drop her off. This morning she grabbed onto my leg and told me 'I don't like school.' through her tears.  It's really tough for both of us.  My heart breaks a little and when I leave I stand outside the door until I hear her stop crying. The teachers say she doesn't cry long but instead curls up and tries to sleep on the couch... which I imagine can't be easy in a small room with twenty loud and crazy kids.  I hope it gets better soon especially since last year she loved her old school and was very excited to go every morning.

--

When the weather gets colder and the leaves start changing colours I have a few things I always instinctively do.  I start researching soup recipes, thinking about getting out my winter clothes (though I never do until it's too late and I'm freezing in the house in a tank-top) and I drag out my pink-polka dot bag with all of my knitting needles.  That's my official cue that the fall has arrived.

This week I have started a new project... a scarf and hat for Sera. The wool was gifted to me by an amazing crochet artist friend and x-neighbour named Daniela Cerri several years ago for my birthday and has been crying out to be used now for ages. It's very woolly and fluffy and I've used an amazing pompom tutorial for some creative finishes so keep your eyes open for the completed work... In the meantime here's a peek.... though it's not quite finished Sera has told me 'It's my favorite!'


--

On a spiritual journey update I have started Yoga classes on Mondays and an definitely enjoying them. The practise is pretty much one-on-one with the teacher and is very very meditation centred. It's good because I'm already quite involved in my daily meditations so it's just a bonus that I have even more clarity during the class.  Speaking of meditation, a new series with Deepak Chopra 'The Secrets of Mediattion' started on Monday so I'm super excited for that. It's not to late to join in and it's really really accessible to beginners. And it's free!  The last 21 day meditation challenge I did with Deva Premal and Miten was surprising.  I didn't expect to enjoy it as much as I did and definitely didn't expect to adopt a mantra practise, but by day 6 I was 100% loving it. It's taught me that it's worth trying something new and letting go of your prejudices.

--

Here's a quick list on the rest of what's been keeping me away from you:

What I've been watching: Continuum Season 2

What I've been reading: A brilliant article on Painful Periods and an alternative to disposable sanitary products by Christina at A Clean Plate - I had been meaning to write a similar article but couldn't have said it better. She talks about diet at the beginning of the article but then goes onto talking about something I love love love...

What I've been working on: Animating the kiss scene from Hick!

What app I've been using: Duolingo to brush up on my French. It's so embarrassing to have come from Quebec and not speak a word!

Where I've been: We spent the weekend in Piemonte near Barolo drinking amazing wines and eating tartufo with friends. Yum!


*inserimento is a period of time where a child is introduced slowly to a new school environment by gradually increasing the time away from the mother on a daily basis.  This period normally lasts 2 weeks.

AIP- Paleo Tabbouleh

As much as I've been trying to plan ahead on this AIP-Paleo diet, today I ran around so much that I forgot to pick up something for myself for dinner. Upon opening the fridge I found some leftover chicken breast and a large bunch of parsley which I had left out of a recipe accidentally over the weekend.

I decided to reheat the chicken and see of I could find someway to eat all that parsley... With a bit of creativity I came up with a dish that was surprisingly delicious!

AIP - Paleo Tabbouleh 

You'll need:

1 large bunch of parsley

1 small red onion

1/6 head of cauliflower 

Apple cider vinegar

Olive oil

Sea salt to taste

Chop the parsley finely in a food processor and transfer to serving bowl. Process the onion in the same way and add to bowl. Finally, process the cauliflower until it forms tiny rice-like pieces and add those to the bowl as well.  Coat liberally with extra-virgin olive oil and mix. Add a few dashes of apple-cider vinegar and salt to taste.