House for Sale - Casa in Vendita

Just after moving in in '08
Appena arrivati in '08

Back in September of 2008, 6 months after our wedding, Fabri and I moved into our house.  It's amazing to look back at those days... carefree, kidless and just at the start of our big adventure as a family.  Since then we have shared many many moments walking through that door, shutting out the outside world and feeling blissfully at home.This is still my favorite place to be.

Nel settembre del 2008, sei mesi dopo il nostro matrimonio, Fabri ed io siamo trasferiti in casa nostra. E 'incredibile guardare indietro a quei giorni ... spensierato, senza figli e solo all'inizio della nostra grande avventura come una famiglia. Da allora abbiamo condiviso molti momenti attraverso quella porta, chiudendo fuori il mondo esterno e sentirsi a casa.  Questo è ancora il mio posto preferito.

We put a load of work into this place. We found our dining chairs in a garbage heap outside an elementary school and re-did them ourselves, learning about paintstipping ang the way. We changed the floors, stairs, doors, windows and walls since we've been here. We've painted and assembled, arranged and entertained, grown and even multiplied and now I'm feeling nostalgic that soon it will be time to say goodbye.

Abbiamo messo un saco di lavoro in questo posto. Abbiamo trovato le nostre sedie in un mucchio di spazzatura fuori di una scuola elementare e li abbiamo ri-fatti noi stessi. Abbiamo cambiato i pavimenti, scale, porte, finestre e pareti da quando siamo stati qui. Abbiamo dipinto e assemblato, organizzato e intrattenuti, cresciuti e anche moltiplicate e adesso mi sento nostalgia che presto sarà il momento di dire addio.

This week we've decide to sell our house in order to be able to afford something a little bit bigger.  Our place has a small room for Sera and a big open space for us but it's time to get something a little larger and with a more traditional layout. We need seprate rooms and another bathrom as well. Sera is growing up so fast and we're already overrun with toys, books and mini clothes... I hate to think what would happen when homework and backpacks start arriving, not to mention sports clothes, records (yes I know she'll probably never have a record collection... just being romantic) and giggling friends.

buying furniture online
comprando i mobili

Questa settimana abbiamo deciso di vendere la nostra casa in modo da essere in grado di permetterci qualcosa di un po 'più grande. Il nostro posto ha una piccola sala per Sera e un grande spazio aperto per noi, ma è il momento di ottenere qualcosa con un layout più tradizionale con camere separati e magari un altro bagno. Sera sta crescendo così velocemente e stiamo già invasa da giocattoli, libri e mini abiti ... Non oso pensare cosa succederà quando i compiti e zaini cominciano ad arrivare, per non parlare di abbigliamento sportivo, dischi (sì, lo so che probabilmente non avrà mai una collezione di dischi ... ma sono romantica) e amiche ridacchiando.

Phase one of trying to sell the house is via word-of-mouth, or word-of-social networks... Basically meaning we told our friends on Facebook. The interesting thing is, for as much as your friends on facebook are your friends, they're not really your friends so I don't know how well this strategy will work. I expected more people to share the post... but then I'm working on my expectations, so I can't even be disappointed that only two friends did.

the kitchen today
la cucina oggi

La prima fase di cercare di vendere la casa è tramite word-of-mouth, o word-of-social network ... In pratica significa che abbiamo detto ai nostri amici su Facebook. La cosa interessante è, per quanto i tuoi amici su facebook sono i tuoi amici, non sono davvero i vostri amici.  Non so quanto bene questa strategia funzionerà. Mi aspettavo più gente a condividere il posto ... ma poi sto lavorando sulle mie aspettative, quindi non posso nemmeno essere delusi dal fatto che solo due amici l'hanno fatto.

Instead, I'll share the info with you here dear readers, in the hopes that maybe you'll pass on the info. I know most of you probably don't have friends in Milan who are looking for houses, but you never know right?  We made a nice little website with all the photos of the current state of our house for sale over at MYNEXTLOFT so if you do know someone who could be interested you can direct them there.

Invece, condivido i informazioni qui con voi, cari lettori, nella speranza che forse passate l'informazione. So che la maggior parte di voi probabilmente non hanno amici a Milano che sono alla ricerca di case, ma non si sa mai giusto? Abbiamo fatto un bel sito web con tutte le foto dello stato attuale della nostra casa in vendita sopra a MYNEXTLOFT quindi se si conosce qualcuno che potrebbe essere interessato è possibile indirizzarli lì.

living space today
soggiorno oggi

In the meantime, I'm going to fix myself a cup of green tea and sit on my couch and just look around the room for a bit... enjoy this place that I helped to create a bit... memorize what it feels like to be here a bit... if only for a little while longer.

Nel frattempo, ho intenzione versarmi una tazza di tè verde e sedersi sul mio divano.  Vorrei guardarmi intorno la stanza per un po'... godermi questo luogo che ho contribuito a creare un po'... memorizzare come ci si sente ad essere qui un po'...anche se è solo per un po'.

♥ Jess

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The right choices for our children

trying on the dress-up clothes on the first day of school

I mentioned last week that Sera has been having a hard time adjusting to her new daycare. There have been tears and tantrums and nightmares and emotionally it's exhausting.  I leave her in the morning and then go back the the car with a heavy heart and need to spend a little while centring myself again before I can start my day.

Yesterday I was at a friends house and she asked me how it was going and I started to spew out all the negative things that I have seen in her new school in comparison to the old. More kids per teacher, less space to play physically, less structure, less attention to hygiene, less organised activities, infrequent diaper changes (yes, she's back in diapers... Forget about all my potty-training attempts), over-administration, strict and loud teachers and of course, Sera telling me she preferred the one from last year.

Well it's still early days as it's only been 2 weeks, but I realised while talking how much I'm disliking the new school, as well. I've been trying to ignore my negative sensations because I have been wanting to give it a chance. Also, it is significantly cheaper than the school she went to last year, which is definitely a motivating factor.  I'm also worried that by pulling her from this school and returning to the old one she will learn that if you don't like something you can just quit.... But is that true or just a paranoia that I'm harbouring? She's only 2,5 does she really understand that school is supposed to be for 10 months instead of 1?

Today was a bit better. We went in with dad too so I could get his opinion.  He confirmed that it's different from the old one but said it didn't seem too bad. Sera was happier than other days and though she cried a bit she stopped before we left and seemed excited to start the day. I also saw a sculpture she had made (some goo on cardboard) and felt a bit relieved that they're doing some creative work with her. 

My question is, do I pull her out and put her back in the old private school or hang-tight and keep her where she is? And how do I know which decision in right? Everyone says to 'do what's best for the child' but that's not always so clear.

I don't want to be the crazy over-protective mum who doesn't let her child face difficulties but I also don't want to be the mum who prefers to have a new pair of shoes or two over the quality of daycare of her child.

Mums! Please leave comments! I need your advise! What would you do???! 

Yoga at home with kids

I'm lucky to be a stay at home mum and to have loads of time to spend with Sera, on the housework, crafting, cooking, blogging, filmmaking or taking care of myself. Unfortunately, sometimes these activities can't be multi-tasked.

Other times they can!

I often visit online yoga websites so that I can get in a practice when I feel to it. There are some really wonderful sites out there that even offer free lessons such as doyogawithme.com so with those and searches on youtube I'm spoilt for choice.  It's not the same as going for a lesson, but I haven't managed to work something regular into my schedule yet.

Today Sera and I shared our practice. Its a chance to teach her something special as well as take care of myself a little bit.  Look how wonderful her downward dog is!

I love that whenever she sees me pull the mat out she tells me 'I wanna do yogiees!'. It's too sweet!

PS. Isn't she rocking my retro leotard from the early 80's? She's such a fashionista!

Project Life!

How did I only find out about Becky Higgins' Project Life line of scrap booking products today? I'm so excited!

I'm not a scrapbooker (I know, hard to believe cause there are very few crafts I don't dabble in) but I'm about to become a lazy scrapbooker thanks to Project Life. Here's what it's all about (copied and pasted from their about page):

Project Life^® is a solution-based approach to scrapbooking that was created to simplify the process in order to allow you more time to enjoy life! It requires no glue, no scissors, no tools, and no skills of any kind. The design of our products takes the guess work out of layout design so that you can focus on recording your everyday moments through your photos and journaling. The simple design is stylish and makes it possible for you to complete more pages in less time.

What it consists of is a binder and photo sleeves, just like an old photo album (remember those, before photos were no longer something you could touch?) and a kit of pre-printed and themed or coordinated card stock cards which you can place in with your photos and scraps mixing and matching.  When I saw this post about setting up for photographing Project Life albums I fell in love with the concept.  It will also fulfil my need to do something about the guilt I feel for not having printed a single photo or album for Sera since she was 4 months old (too much knitting, quilting, animating and other pressing responsibilities).

I ordered the kit you see above (Honey Edition) as well as a black chevron binder (cause we all know I still love chevrons) and 60 sleeves. From what I can tell most people do a spread per week, but that's pretty unrealistic in terms of my time so I'm going to aim for one per month if not one per season.

I'm hoping to be able to share my progress with all of you.

autoimmunity - part 4 - fatigue

The ongoing mystery as to how my body works was back to its old tricks this past weekend with a huge flare-up consisting mainly of swelling in my wrists, fingers and knees and more debilitating, severe fatigue.

Lying in bed with the sensation that someone had replaced my skin with those lead vests that you wear to protect your organs during x-rays, I had a lot of time to think about fatigue, energy, sleepiness and wakefulness and to try to remember to be grateful for my good days.

Now that I'm feeling a little better I thought I'd post a bit about it. 

I didn't know what fatigue even was until my sickness.  Sure I had been tired, lazy, wiped-out, exhausted, drowsy, hungover, floored, .lethargic and loads of other versions of tired but never fatigued.  I didn't realise that such a terrifying state of lack of energy even existed. You can be wide awake in your mind but your body, no matter how hard you try, is resisting any form of movement in an active and opposite way.  It's as if gravity suddenly has an 80% stronger pull on you or the ground/chair/bed have become magnetic and your bones and muscles are made up of iron. Then on top of  that there is a strange and foreign energy running up and down inside of your body at a frantic rate keeping your muscles, bones and tendons from doing as their told.

As in my case it can come on slowly, with warning signs like headaches and joint pain and swelling, or all of a sudden, regardless of how much you've slept and without warning. Then when it decides to go it can just vanish, leaving behind confusion, relief and the subtle residue of fear.

If you had seen me yesterday morning at around 8am you would have been shocked at the states was in. I was up, yes, because I had to look after Sera, but moving as slowly as a sloth (who I'm sure knows what fatigue means perfectly). 

It took me over two full minutes to get down the staircase.  If I had to stand I needed to use both hands, placed strategically and pull myself up from a seat. Showering was out of the question because of that crazy energy running around me and my low blood pressure so I just had a coffee and stayed perfectly still unless I had to move. I put on cartoons for the kiddie and didn't feel guilty at all (well, a little bit guilty, but that's how I always am).  When a friend popped by at 9:30 I had to tell her that I couldn't have a coffee with her (after finally making it to answer the door). Then, all of a sudden at 10:30 it was gone! I was better.

And this morning when I woke up I felt fine as well.

I spend a lot of energy trying to find answers to what triggers the fatigue and flare ups and I do my best to try to avoid them, but I have also spent quite a bit of time trying to learn how to accept them and let to of the stress my mind causes mean top of my bad days... I find that when my body is at its very worst, my mind goes off and worries about the future, feels angry that I have this challenge in my life and feels like a failure for not having 'resolved' it by now (though I have been told on many occasions that there is no cure, only treatment). Since I can't control the sickness I can at least try to control how I feel about it and that may make things a little better.

I am grateful today to have energy and vitality to play with my daughter, see a friend and cook a healthy meal for my family tonight. I am grateful to be working on my memory quilt, to be able to continue to do my crafting projects and to be able to work on my short film.  I am grateful that my recent x-rays have resulted in no deterioration to my finger, wrist, ankle or feet joints. 

I am also grateful to be able to be writing this post for you today. I have spent a lot of the past 13 years hiding my sickness from the people around me.  Of course, I don't want to burden anyone with my problems, we all have them, and I'm not throwing myself a pity party, I'm the first to say how lucky I am and have been. But I still think the reason I don't normally share is part of my life with anyone is a combination of shame, fear, denial and anger.  I want everyone to perceive me as strong and the sickness makes me feel weak. I am afraid of being judged, but more so of what the significance of my sickness means to my future and the people around me. I am in denial of the disease (hey! I've already made a step in the right direction, calling it a disease instead of a sickness or illness) and I figure if no one knows that I am struggling with it, it will go away, or won't be true.  And I'm angry.... So so so angry at times. 

Perhaps I can find strength instead by learning how to accept my weaknesses. Perhaps I can be brave while facing my fears. Perhaps I can learn to accept this disease and in doing so live with it in harmony and perhaps, instead of anger I can learn about compassion and gratitude from all of this.  Surely, at the end of this journey I will be changed because of it, perhaps it is my choice as to how.

My joints are still swollen today, and I take that as one of the warning signs, so I'm going easy on myself in the next few days. I'm hoping that the fatigue won't return again for some time. Wish me luck!

For more of my posts on autoimmunity click here.

Meditation with Deepak and Oprah

I'm so happy to bring your attention to a new 21 day meditation series offered by Oprah and Deepak Choprah... 21-Day Meditation Challenge Miraculous Relationships 

You can register and participate for free here and it starts this coming Monday, August 5th.

I know I'm pushing my enthusiasm for meditation on you readers, but I really think that it's 100% worth giving a try.  I've already followed 2 of these mediation series and I have really enjoyed them.

I hope you'll give it a chance and will enjoy it as much as I will! 

Lido di Segirno

We spent this past Sunday at the Lido di Segrino after purchasing a promotional package for entry and lunch.  On their website you can see similar promotions from 20-25€ depending on what you're interested in doing or eating.

It takes about 50 minutes to drive from Milan and can be a nice family day out. We waded in the beautiful lake, ate a light lunch, swam in the little pool and even went out for a canoe ride.

If I'm being entirely critical however I'd have to say that we probably wouldn't return.  With only a little tiny bit of effort the place could have been amazing and instead the establishment had overlooked some critical details. The shoreline wasn't maintained well with the grass only cut and polished until about 15 meters to the water and then inexplicably left overgrown. There was also some very large sharp rocks which could have easily been moved out of the way of potential bathers and bits of rubbish which had floated ashore that was not removed. The pool is very small at roughly 3x6 meters in diameter, about 110cm deep at all parts and wasn't supervised. Therefore it was full of rowdy teenagers and adults splashing jumping and generally being anti-social (and quite dangerous actually).  At the restaurant the waiter was confused and couldn't remember table numbers.  The bathrooms weren't clean (a pet-peeve of mine, it can ruin my day).

On the plus side, lakes are not really appreciated in Italy the same way they are in Canada and I was thrilled to be able to share some time in a canoe with the people I love most.  We did encounter some high winds on the way back to shore and only just beat a storm (check out the sky in the photo!), but it was still a lot of fun. Especially since I wasn't the one paddling!

It's a bit of a shame because the place could have been a 10 out of 10 in terms of a family fun day, but instead it can only claim a 6 out of 10 and for just silly reasons. I hope that they figure out some of these issues so that we can go back and check it out another time but as it is now, I'll keep looking for my paradise by the lake.

what's on your mind?

Since I can remember I've struggled with the inner workings of my own mind. I tend to think too much, to analyse what other people's intentions might or might not have been and to suffer from worry for the future or nostalgia for the past. I never really managed to 'live in the moment'. From experience I know that this can lead to unhappiness despite life being 'on track' or everything being ok, even good.

Even when Sera was born, when I had everything in the world I could have possibly wanted, I found it very hard to keep my mind from remembering some negative experiences I had directly after the birth and suffered some post-partum depression because of it.

I was lucky enough to stumble upon an app this past summer which has really changed all of that for me. Changed my life actually... Well, not the app itself, but the skills it has taught me have changed my life.

Created by Andy Puddicome, an x-Buddhist monk, getsomeheadspace.com and its connected app aim to teach people, through mindfulness meditation, how to actually live within their lives. To actually be present with the moment, and to train the mind to stay with the moment at any given time. For example, when you're washing the dishes, you're washing the dishes. When you're eating an apple, you're eating an apple and when you're spending time with the people you love you're actually there with them, not just physically but mentally present as well... You're not thinking about fixing up the house, the pile of work you left on your desk for tomorrow, or that conversation that didn't go well with the barista at the coffee shop this morning and what you should have said to him when he spilt the coffee all over your new shoes.

Every day now for the past 236 days now I've been sitting down to meditate, connected with my headphones to the iPod for 10 or 20 minutes. Puddicome guides you with his voice (nice British accent!) into a state of relaxation and then helps you to visualise different scenarios which you can then apply to your everyday life.

For example, your thoughts do not 'belong to you' you can watch them pass as you would cars down a road.... You don't have to hold onto the positive ones or run away from the negative ones... You can just watch as they come and go.

Or: the sky is always blue.... Clouds come an go and just block our view of it (I particularly like this one because it reminds me that its always sunny somewhere).

I love the way the meditations go because they have no religion or excessive spirituality involved with them. There are no mantras or chanting or religious icons and figures involved. It's just you, alone with yourself for a little bit each day.

I recommend trying it out if only for the first 10 days in which you only sit for 10 minutes a day. It's like a quick workout for your mind and then you're charged and ready for the rest of your day. It lets me be a better wife, mum and friend for the rest of the day as well, which the people who know me can definitely confirm!

I have, since starting with the getsomeheadspace app, investigated other sources of meditation training and mindfulness training including reading books on the subject and following online meditation seminars as well. Jon Kabat-Zinn has some wonderful books and Deepak Chopra probably has the most soothing voice I've ever hear, but more on that another time.

Best of luck with your own spiritual and self-discovery journey from a fellow traveller!

Now!

What is it that you're waiting for? It's probably exactly that thing that you will regret not having done if you one day realise you never did. 

I've been thinking a lot about time lately and my relationship to it. I practise mindfulness meditation every day and since I've started it's really changed my perception of time. Every time I sit to meditate I'm reminded of one very true fact of life, that the moment is all we have. Now is all we ever have.

I have loads of things that I'm probably putting off in my life. It's funny, sometimes we don't even know what those things are unless we sit down and really think about them but when we do we realise what our priorities are.  Now is the right time for me to sit and think about it.... what's it the right time for you to do dear reader?

Now IS the right time... go out! Do it!