We're Not Passing Through Here Again - Non Torniamo da Questa Parte

Photo: Fabrizio Lingesso

Look around. Take in the sounds and the smells. Breathe in the air. Take a snapshot, make a memory. We're not coming back through here. Where are you right now? Are you in your office, your home, commuting on the bus with an iphone in your hand? Wherever you may be, wherever you are, you will never be there again. Take in the magnatude of that thought. Your physical location in time and space will change; it will never be the same as it is right now in this moment. For however many times you do the same comute or walk into the same office, they are neve the same. You are never the same. Nothing is permanent. The sights and sounds around you will change in continuation. That collegue who gets under your skin will get a new job. Your children wil grow old and leave home. Your favorite mug will chip, crack and eventually shatter.  Or you will change and find a new favorite. The places you call home will evolve and change, flipping past your eyes like cards in a rolodex (rolodex's will become useless, then kitch, then obsolete, then retro, then antique - though in what order or what stage of this evolution we're at right now I'm not sure). Every moment of our lives are in transition. Seing that is what helps to free your mind from what happened yesterday and the worries of tomorrow. If you only exist in this moment (and you do), stopping to really see it leaves you without space left for regret or worry. Only love. Where are you right now?

Guardatevi intorno. Ammirate i suoni e gli odori. Respirate l'aria. Fate una foto, fare un ricordo. Non stiamo tornando da qui. Dove sei in questo momento? Siete nel vostro ufficio, la vostra casa, sul autobus con un iPhone in mano? Ovunque tu sia, non sarai mai più lì.Fate una pausa sul quel pensiero . La tua posizione fisica nel tempo e nello spazio cambierà; questo momento non sarà mai lo stesso perché è proprio ora. Per quante volte fai la stessa strada. Non si è mai lo stesso. Nulla è permanente. Le immagini ei suoni intorno a voi cambierà in continuazione.  Quel collega che ti da fastidio otterrà un nuovo lavoro. I vostri bambini cresceranno andranno a vivere dal altra parte del mondo. La vostra tazza preferita si scheggia, finisce in frantumi. Oppure potrete cambiare voi e trovare un nuovo preferito . Ogni momento delle nostre vite sono in fase di transizione. Vedendo che è ciò che aiuta a liberare la mente da quello che è successo ieri e le preoccupazioni di domani. Se siete in questo momento soltanto (e lo sei), fermandoti un attimo per vederlo davvero ti lascerà senza spazio per rammarico o preoccupazione .  Solo l'amore. Dove sei in questo momento?

♥ Jess

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Learning to Live in Joy - Vivendo con Gioia

One of the most wonderful things I've learnt since becoming a mommy is the art of being joyful.  Children have this amazing ability to simply be happy and to be happy with simplicity.

Sera is teaching me every day that it's alright to just be exactly where I am... I dont' have to constantly be thinking about what I need to be doing next. I can just sit and smile and make up silly dances or practice laughing in different styles (one of our new favorite games).  I can also choose all of the most colourful and ridiculous clothes in my wardrobe, put them all on at once and perform a native american rain dance. It's ok. It's ok to be happy. It's ok to experience joy. It's ok to be in the moment. It's what we were made for. Thank you for teaching me that, my crazy, funny, beautiful girl!

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Una delle cose più belle che ho imparato da quando è diventato una mamma è l'arte di essere gioiosa. I bambini hanno questa sorprendente capacità di essere semplicemente felice e di essere felice con semplicità. 

Sera mi sta insegnando ogni giorno che va bene essendo esattamente dove sono io in ogni momento ... non devo essere costantemente pensando al prossim cosa che  devo fare. Posso sedermi e sorridere e inventare danze stupide o ridere in diversi stili (uno dei nostri nuovi giochi preferiti). Posso anche scegliere tutti i vestiti più colorati e ridicoli nel mio guardaroba, metterli tutti adosso ed eseguire un nativo americano danza della pioggia. E 'ok. E 'ok essere felici. E 'ok sperimentare la gioia. E 'ok essere nel momento. Siamo stati creati per questo. Grazie per avermi insegnato, mia pazza, divertente, bella ragazza!

♥ Jess

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Talk to your Daughters - Self-Esteem

I recently started following Claudia's blog LaCasaNellaPrateria and was inspired by a post of hers to talk a bit about teaching self-esteem to our daughters.  She mentioned that a few videos created by Dove's new self-esteem campaign had made her think. I watched them and they got me thinking as well, specifically this one about talking to your daughters before the beauty industry does.  What an important conversation to have!

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Da poco ho iniziato a seguire LaCasaNellaPrateria blog di Claudia ed sono stata ispirato da un post sul insegniamento di auto-stima alle nostre figlie. Un paio di video creata di nuova campagna autostima della marca Dove l'ha fatto pensare. Li guardavo e mi hanno fatto pensare anch'io, in particolare questo ceh dice di parlare con le nostre figlie prima che l'industria della bellezza lo fa. Che conversazione importante da fare!

I'm lucky to have a self-confident daughter but will make an effort from now on to make sure that she knows that she's beautiful... and not only because of how she looks, but becasue of the whole package.  It brings such complete joy to my heart every time Sera runs off to have a look at herself in the mirror and does a twirl. I don't ever want her to lose that.  I want her to be herself with reckless abandon. I want her to know in her heart that she is perfect in ever way.

I'm so glad that I got over how I look a long time ago because it's one less illusion to worry about. We are all beautiful and we are all exactly as we're meant to be.

If you want to be inspired by what some other mums are doing to teach their girls about positive female role models and self esteem then head over to see what Jamie C. Moore and her daughter did for her fifth birthday.  That must have been one fun dress up session!

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Sono fortunata ceh finora Sera è sicuro di sé, ma farò uno sforzo da ora in poi per assicurarmi che lei sa di essere bella ... e non solo a causa d'estetica, ma per l'intero pacchetto. Sento una gioia completa nel cuore ogni volta Sera corre, salta, balla e fa delle piroette davanti allo specchio. Voglio che si guarda cosi per tutta la vita. Voglio che sente di essere se stessa con sconsiderato abbandono. Voglio che lei sappia in cuore suo che lei è perfetta in ogni modo, sempre.

Sono così felice che ho abbandonato l'illusione della bellezza perfetta perchè e una cosa in meno di cui preoccuparsi. Sono bella in modo mio. Non c'è nessuno essatamente come me.  Siamo tutti belli e siamo tutti esattamente come dobbiamo essere.

Se volete essere ispirato da quello che un altra mamma ha fatto per insegnare sua bimba sulle donne a quale stimare andate a vedere i foto di Jamie C. Moore della sua figlia. Era un servizio che ha fatto per il suo quinto compleanno. Deve essere stato un divertente sessione di dress up!

Or, to see more of Dove's initiative head over to their youtube page and click through a few of their campaign spots. I swear that some of them almost made me cry, especially the Dove real beauty sketches.

In Claudia's post she leaves us with an interesting project. She asks us to have a think and find out a role model or two for our daughters that goes beyond the esthetic aspect of womanhood. In the next few days I'll be thinking up and researching these women and then describing them as I would to Sera.

Any suggestions? Who are your favorite woman from history, the arts, science?  Who are the women that you look up to and admire?

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O, per vedere di più video dell'iniziativa di Dove andate allo canale youtube Giuro che alcuni di loro quasi mi ha fatto piangere, soprattutto Dove real beauty Sketches.

Nel post di Claudia ci si lascia con un progetto interessante. Lei ci chiede di  pensare ad una donna che puo essere un nuovo modello per le nostre figlie.  Una che ha tante cose oltre l'aspetto estetica della femminilità. Nei prossimi giorni penserò e farò ricerca sul queste donne e poi  torno qui a descriverveli come farei se li stavo descivendo a Sera.

Qualche suggerimento? Chi sono la tua donna preferita dalla storia, le arti, la scienza? Chi sono le donne che ammiri?

♥ Jess

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Understanding how to Go with the Flow

Yoga lessons started anew last night with a very satisfying hour and a half with Aldegonda. We tried a lot of new poses and I really enjoyed quite a few of them, especially those that stretched out my pretty compressed, rounded spine. I woke up this morning feeling a lot more bendy and with less upper back pain.

I've been thinking a lot about the nature of the self and soul. In yoga, from what I understand, prana is air, but also the universal energy that flows through everything and can get blocked and stuck in some ways. (I'd love it if you'd correct me if I'm wrong!) Yoga helps to unblock those channels and allow you to experience that energy more fully.

I have also recently read 'Power, Freedom and Grace' by Deepak Chopra and in it he also talks a lot about the energy of the universe. In fact, he goes so far as to claim that we ARE the universe and even more confusingly that our minds and bodies are creations of our soul. He says that as soon as you can get your ego out of the way you will naturally draw positivity towards you, your life's work will flow from you as easily as the water down a river, choosing the easiest path and all your desires will be realised.

I think I need to re-read the book again at a later date to completely understand what I want to take away from it. Surely I want my life's work to have no obstacles in its realisation but when I think that the greatest obstacle to my work is in fact my own personality, it's hard to get my head around. How do. I remove myself (or my current perception of myself) from the work? I do know this particular problem to be true however. I know for a fact that if it weren't for my fear, insecurity and hesitation my short film would have been finished ages ago.

What I did enjoy and I do see about all these ideas is the idea of flow. You cannot let any form of energy flow by holding onto it. It only disturbes he natural predestined path of least resistance. Can you direct energy? Sure, can you harness it? Sure, but you cannot keep it. You need to let it go.

I write this from my bed cause though I'm more bendy this morning my own energy is telling me it's best not to push. Fabri was lovely and took Sera to school so I could feel a bit better and recharge before picking her up after lunch.  I normally get really down about my low days, but today I just feel lucky that I have been so creative in this past week, that I have a wonderful family and that I can enjoy the bit of rest these few hours will give me.  I will be grateful as well when my energy does return and I can continue onto other things I've been wanting to do.

I guess that's what they mean by 'going with the flow'. I smile when I think of how many years I have either been trying to swim upstream or catch the river in a series of inadequate buckets.

The Universe Delivers the Lessons

Last night we went out for dinner.  It was really quite nice and the food was great but the reason why I'm posting is because something interesting happened while we were there. I was taught a profound lesson in compassion and tolerance 100% relevant to my own life and current situation without even getting up from the table.

The couple at the table next to ours were in their 60's. They weren't married (at least not to each other) and it seemed as if it must be relatively fresh into their relationship.  She was loud and a strong woman. Her voice cut through the restaurant and she was hard to ignore. As soon as they sat down she grabbed my atterntion  because she kept using swear words and I was noting my own reaction to them. I thought it was crass and unnecessary and I was glad that I outgrew any form of swearing with adolescence. It made her seem uglier to me even though otherwise she was a sophisticated lady.

When people hear Fabri and I speaking English, they often assume that you just can't understand Italian at all and proceed to talk about you, or your child openly with their company.  This too happened... luckily they were talking about how nice Sera was behaving and a little bit about the difference between a Nintendo and an Ipad.

We continued or meal.

But then I head the word autoimmunity.

A new conversation had begun at the next table over and the woman began asking, no, interviewing the man about the subject.  How do you catch it? Why does it happen? Is it transmittable to others? What is the outcome? How can it be cured? Will a child get it if its parents do? Why is it hard to diagnose? Does it go away?

The answers popping into my own head to her questions were synchronised with his and I began to wonder if I should interrupt them and start asking him my own questions. Perhaps he was an expert in the field?  But then I decided to just listen and let them get on with their evening considering I'm currently satisfied with my level of care.

I listened and listened and after about 15 minutes I realised why the universe had brought these two to the table next to mine to have that conversation. I had something to learn.  In the past I have been impatient with my husband, mother, relatives, friends and acquaintances when talking about my autoimmune disease.  I have been frustrated that they haven't believed me when I explain that I am doing my best to take care of myself and that there's no quick cure or special doctor that I can just call.  I have felt accused by them of not wanting to get better... I have taken their suggestions on diet and exercises and rest as insults.  I have pushed them away because of it.

Watching this crass and classy woman ask impartial questions to this man who either was or wasn't a doctor, two strangers, set off a light bulb in my head.  The only reason why the people who love me ask questions or make suggestions or doubt what I tell them about my disease is because they just don't know anything about it.  I suddenly realised that I really am an expert on autoimmune diseases (at least my own small collection of them) due to my vast 13 years of experience in the field.  How on earth can I expect a friend or relative who's only just hearing that these diseases exist or only now coming into contact with someone who has one to possibly understand as thoroughly as I do what it means and the road I've had to travel towards accepting it?  My heart suddenly opened up to this woman with the loud voice whom I was judging moments before as well as to everyone who has ever taken the time to even talk with me about my disease.  I was wrong to place my anger, fear and sorrow on you all. I will try to do better.

On another note, the revelation has made me so much more compassionate and sympathetic to other people's individual situations.  I can't possibly comprehend what it means to be anyone else or to be in their skin.  I can't possibly ever assume to know what someone is living or feeling. None of us can.  We're each so completely unique and have our own gifts and challenges in this life. I suddenly understood that it would serve me well to have more humility in my encounters with others and to always assume that I don't know anything about them or their lives... It's clear now that this is accurate more of the time than assuming that I know everything about them and their lives!

I find it amazing when the universe teaches you a lesson that you so desperately needed to learn, even if you didn't know it before hand. Keep your eyes open for these lessons!  Last night was proof that they do come! They're probably the most valuable ones we'll ever learn.

100 Posts and Counting!

I missed the 100 posts milestone of this blog. It was 2 posts ago and I had been meaning to celebrate in some way but completely forgot... busy telling you guys about giveaways and paper crafts and such.

This post is my celebration of all the work I've put into this blog since I started it this past April. 100 some posts is quite an accomplishment for a hobby-blog that I wasn't even sure would survive past the 10th post. I'm happily surprised that I've stuck with it and am hoping to maintain this stamina for many more posts to come. I'll write until I run out of steam or ideas and I'm nowhere near that yet.

The interesting thing about becoming a blogger is that though I didn't exactly know what i would be blogging about at first I can now see a personal voice and style forming that isn't necessarily what I expected.  I thought I'd be writing a mommy-blog and it seems that instead I've ended up with a bit of an everything lifestyle blog, and a lot of my reader response is related to various health topics. I didn't expect that at all.  Below you'll find links to some of the other things I didn't expect to be writing about.

no-poo, recycling, ikea-hacking, personal memories, shrinky-dinks, potty training

And now, a collection of a few of my favorite posts, either cause they were fun to write or have good memories attached to them.

comedy with woody, mindfulness, dollmaking, friuli

I want thank my readers directly for following the blog and continuing to remain active in doing so. Every comment on the blog or via facebook is really what motivates me to continue it.

Special thanks go out to Michelle, Alice, Ana, Melissa, Raffa and Christine:  Even though I only know some of you via cyber-space I know that without you girls I wouldn't even believe anyone was reading and don't know if I would have kept the blog up.

I hope you're enjoying the blog and would love to hear from more of my readers. Leave comments below so I know what it is you like and what you hate!

**The graphics for this page were made with Canva... you can get instant access to make your own by participating in my giveaway!

The right choices for our children

trying on the dress-up clothes on the first day of school

I mentioned last week that Sera has been having a hard time adjusting to her new daycare. There have been tears and tantrums and nightmares and emotionally it's exhausting.  I leave her in the morning and then go back the the car with a heavy heart and need to spend a little while centring myself again before I can start my day.

Yesterday I was at a friends house and she asked me how it was going and I started to spew out all the negative things that I have seen in her new school in comparison to the old. More kids per teacher, less space to play physically, less structure, less attention to hygiene, less organised activities, infrequent diaper changes (yes, she's back in diapers... Forget about all my potty-training attempts), over-administration, strict and loud teachers and of course, Sera telling me she preferred the one from last year.

Well it's still early days as it's only been 2 weeks, but I realised while talking how much I'm disliking the new school, as well. I've been trying to ignore my negative sensations because I have been wanting to give it a chance. Also, it is significantly cheaper than the school she went to last year, which is definitely a motivating factor.  I'm also worried that by pulling her from this school and returning to the old one she will learn that if you don't like something you can just quit.... But is that true or just a paranoia that I'm harbouring? She's only 2,5 does she really understand that school is supposed to be for 10 months instead of 1?

Today was a bit better. We went in with dad too so I could get his opinion.  He confirmed that it's different from the old one but said it didn't seem too bad. Sera was happier than other days and though she cried a bit she stopped before we left and seemed excited to start the day. I also saw a sculpture she had made (some goo on cardboard) and felt a bit relieved that they're doing some creative work with her. 

My question is, do I pull her out and put her back in the old private school or hang-tight and keep her where she is? And how do I know which decision in right? Everyone says to 'do what's best for the child' but that's not always so clear.

I don't want to be the crazy over-protective mum who doesn't let her child face difficulties but I also don't want to be the mum who prefers to have a new pair of shoes or two over the quality of daycare of her child.

Mums! Please leave comments! I need your advise! What would you do???! 

Thank you 10Q

The other day while catching up with a friend just back from holidays she asked me what my new years' resolutions were.  She claims that September makes more sense as the start of the new year than January ever did. Schools get back in swing, the weather starts to get cooler and the lazy days of summer are gone. Even the harvest gets underway as farmers start preparing for winter.  Plus, wineries all over Italy start the vendemmia; plucking the ripe juicy grapes from the vine to start the process of turning them into this year's wine.

What my friend didn't know was that it is also the season leading up to the start of the Herbrew calendar year and Jewish New Years for those very reasons (the harvest, not the wine). September is definitely the start of my new year as well.

In that regard...

For some years now I have been subscribed to a web service called 10Q. Here's their about blurb:

10 Days. 10 Questions.Answer one question per day in your own secret online 10Q space. Make your answers serious. Silly. Salacious. However you like. It's your 10Q. When you're finished, hit the magic button and your answers get sent to the secure online 10Q vault for safekeeping. One year later, the vault will open and your answers will land back in your email inbox for private reflection. Want to keep them secret? Perfect. Want to share them, either anonymously or with attribution, with the wider 10Q community? You can do that too.Next year the whole process begins again. And the year after that, and the year after that. Do you 10Q? You should.

Some of the questions are geared towards having you analyse your life and the past year with an eye towards gratitude and appreciation, the rest have you ponder the year to come.  On the 10th day the answers are sealed in a vault for 12 months and you tend to forget them pretty quickly.  When they come back to you it can be extremely enlightening! I've found it a very powerful self-analysis  tool.  You can even login and check back on previous years' responses to see how much your spirit, and you have changed over the years.   The first year I wrote my answers I was pregnant with Sera so you can imagine what has changed since then!

The 10Q service starts this Wednesday, September 4th. Sign up now to get daily reminders to answer your questions.

10Q: Reflect. React. Renew. Life's Biggest Questions. Answered By You.