Bureaucracy Fun!

I've been in the process of obtaining my Italian citizenship for over 5 yeas now. You may remember this post about how a government official came to my house in November and scared the hell out of me delivering the document requesting I come to their offices to make an appointment. Well, on Monday I went.

At 10am I arrived at a closed frosted glass door and a ticket machine, you know, those red ones for taking a number at the butchers shop? Those. I take a number and try to find out if I'm in the right place. Take a number before you know anything is one of the rules to being a good Italian citizen. I'm in the right place... Good, phase one complete.

At 10:20 I realize that there is a woman unlocking the door to the office from the outside... They haven't even started the day yet! The sign says they're open from 9am (take a number). This means that before my turn arrives there are all the people that have been waiting for over an hour.

But here's my next surprise... The numbers don't mean anything an people just go in random orders... Basically, the most agressive and least scrupulous person goes first. Everyone "just needs some information that will only take one minute" and then remain inside for 15-20 minutes. I try to be all calm and understanding until I realize that sitting calmly and understandingly is putting me at a huge disadvantage. I may not make it to pick sera up at 12:45. I stand. Time to pick up my game.

An hour passes.

I converse with a Sri Lancan woman and Moroccan man, all in our near-perfect Italian we've been waiting for cicitzenship for 16 year collectively (16 years and 6 hours now). I pace. I twiddle my fingers. I watch people who work in this office walking back and forth down the halls, first wih their phones, then a coffee, then laughing with colleagues, then opening and closing doors. They walk so very slowly. I wonder if they're practicing mindfulness meditation.

My turn! Oh wait! No... Your turn (someone is using the numbers).

My turn! I slip inside and close the door behind me. Passed another level! Hooray! Hit save.

The woman asks for the usual docs and stuff I hand her my passport instead of my carta d'identita and wince... Does she accept it? Yes... Phew. Just like Russian roulette.

But in Russian roulette you can be pretty sure what will happen if it all goes wrong. Bureaucracy in Italy is quite another story.

She looks at my passport and at a handwritten note on the paper I gave we (the one from November)... She says 'your name is Jessica Pearl'. Yes, on my birth certificate, yes I confirm. 'But not on your documents' no, not on my documents where I'm just Jessica Herman. Not on my passport or drivers' licence or medical card or social insurance number. No biggie.

Biggie.

'Ok' she says. 'Then we can give citizenship to Jessica Pearl, but you will have to change all of your other documents to match or you'll be two people.'

Whaaaaaatttt?!?! What does THAT mean? They're going to clone me!?! I start to sweat. Here goes.... now I have to try to convince this women not to cancel my 5 year long application while theyt wait for me to legally erase the word 'Pearl' from my canadian birth certificate... or some other insane, arbitrary rule she's about to make up. I have to make a quick move so I nod and say 'ok, um huh, two people. Got it. I'll change all my other documents.'

But, friends and readers, it's not so simple. You see, my name and document numbers are associated wih many things since I've been in Italy. My marriage (Jessica), my house (Jessica), medical records (Jessica) and birth of my daughter (you guessed it Jessica) to name a few. In order to change some of these documents you ahve to go back in time and reapply for them.

For example... a medical card is based on your permesso di soggiorno.... ok, but the permesso is also Jessica... so the permesso is based on my marriage... wait... the marriage is based on marriage certificate and that's also under Jessica not Jessica Pearl so does that mean I have to get married again?

And what about my house? Who owns that if ....

I'm interrupted from my mental gymnastics by the clerk. 'Signora... you only have 6 months to make the declairation! It's too late!' she exclaims. I'm stumped and shocked... six months from November is May, it's now March. Dare I ask? Is May somehow March in Italian burecratic law?

She explains that they only have appointments left for June. How this is an explaination baffles me as it's certainly not my job to know when they have appointments for. I crack a smile... have 5 years of hoop-jumping excersizes come down to this? I shrug my shoulders and sincerely ask her 'now-what?' I'm so exhausted from all this.

'Well, I guess we'll just HAVETO find YOU a spot then.' she says... which I translate as 'Me mentioning the 6 month thing was just another test of your will and really had no significance whatsoever, I just didn't feel like looking through the calendar properly and much prefer to just do the easiest thing possible with every person who walks through the door which is to give them the latest possible appoinment in the calendar.'

She finds a date in the calendar after wasting another 15 minutes explaining to her colleague what happened (for no reason, therby wasting a total of 30 minutes multiplied by however many dozens of people were still waiting outside). Safe again then.

I have no idea what's going to happen in April when I go to give my oath. Presuably something too surreal to anticipate as it always is with this office. I don't even know who is going to become a citizen... Jessica or Jessica Pearl.

Will I change all of my documents? Maybe... maybe not. Maybe I'll just stay two people for the rest of my life. I mean, once you're cloned right? That's got to have some advantages... even burecratically.

--

Sono 5 anni che provo ad ottenere la Cittadinanza Italiana. Ricorda questo post su quando un funzionario del governo è venuto a casa mia con un documento da portare in preffetura? Beh, Lunedi sono andata.

Alle 10:00 sono arrivato a una porta chiusa e una biglietteria automatica, sai, quelli rossi per prendere un numero in macelleria ? Quelli. Prendo un numero e cerco di scoprire se sono nel posto giusto. Prendete un numero prima di sapere nulla è una delle regole per essere un buon cittadino italiano. Sono nel posto giusto ... Bene, la fase A completo .

Alle 10:20 mi rendo conto che c'è una donna che sta sbloccando la porta dell'ufficio da fuori ... Non hanno nemmeno iniziato ancora la giornata! Il cartello dice che sono aperti dalle 09:00 (prendere un numero) . Questo significa che prima del mio turno ci sono tutte le persone che hanno atteso per più di un'ora .

Ma qui è il mio prossimo sorpresa ... I numeri non significano nulla e tutti entrano in ordini casuali ... In sostanza, la persona più aggressivo e meno scrupoloso entra per primo. Tutti dicono "ho solo bisogno di alcune informazioni che non potrà che durare un minuto" e poi rimangono dentro per circa 15-20 minuti. Cerco di essere tutta tranquillità e comprensione fino a quando mi rendo conto che essendo calma e comprensivo mi sta mettendo in un enorme svantaggio. Mi alzo. È ora di mettermi in gioco.

Un'ora passa.

Parlo con una donna dello Sri Lanca e un uomo marocchino, tutti con nostro quasi perfetto italiano. Stiamo aspettandola citadinanza per 16 anni se c metti tutti insieme (16 anni e 6 ore ora).

Passo avanti e indietro. Giro le dita. Guardo le persone che lavorano in questo ufficio che cammina avanti e indietro per i corridoi, in primo luogo colpa del loro telefoni, poi un caffè, poi a ridere con i colleghi, poi aprendo e chiudendo le porte. Essi camminano molto lentamente . Mi chiedo se stanno praticando la meditazione di consapevolezza .

Il mio turno! Oh aspettare! No. .. il tuo turno (qualcuno sta usando i numeri ) .

Il mio turno! Mi infilo dentro e chiudo la porta dietro di me . Passato un altro livello ! Evviva ! Sciaccia risparmiare.

La donna chiede per i soliti documenti e porgo il mio passaporto al posto della mia Carta d' identita e tengo il fiato ... Se lei accettarlo? Sì. ... Uff . Proprio come la roulette russa .

Ma in roulette russa si può essere abbastanza sicuri di cosa accadrà se tutto va storto. La burocrazia in Italia è tutta un'altra storia .

Lei guarda il mio passaporto e ad una nota scritta a mano sulla carta ho dato noi (quello da novembre ) ... Dice ' il tuo nome è Jessica Pearl ' . Sì , il mio certificato di nascita , sì, confermo . ' Ma non sui documenti ' no, non sui miei documenti in cui io sono solo Jessica Herman . Non sul mio passaporto o driver ' licenza o tessera sanitaria o il numero di assicurazione sociale. Nessuna grossa delusione.

Grossa delusione invece.

' Ok' , dice . ' Allora possiamo dare la cittadinanza a Jessica Pearl , ma si devono cambiare tutti i vostri altri documenti per abbinare o sarete due persone. '

Whaaaaaatttt?!?! Che cosa vuol dire? Mi duplicano!?! Comincio a sudare. Ora devo cercare di convincere queste donne a non annullare la mia domanda lungo cinque anni , mentre loro aspettanoche cancello la parola 'Pearl' dal mio certificato di nascita canadese ... o qualche altro folle, arbitraria regola che sta per inventare.

Devo fare una mossa veloce, quindi io annuisco e dico ' ok , um eh , due persone . Capito . Cambierò tutti i miei altri documenti. '

Ma , amici e lettori , non è così semplice . Vedete , il mio nome e il numero del documento sono associate wih molte cose da quando sono in Italia . Il mio matrimonio ( Jessica ) , la mia casa ( Jessica ) , cartelle cliniche ( Jessica ) e nascita di mia figlia ( avete indovinato Jessica ) per citarne alcuni. Anche la codice Fiscale. Al fine di modificare alcuni di questi documenti è di andare indietro nel tempo e riapplicare per loro. E non ho una macchina del tempo immagino che costano tanto.

Per esempio ... una scheda medica si basa sul permesso di soggiorno .... ok , ma del permesso è anche Jessica ... quindi del permesso si basa sul mio matrimonio ... Attendere ... il matrimonio si basa sulla certificato di matrimonio e questo è anche sotto Jessica non Jessica Pearl così vuol dire che devo ottenere ancora sposato ?

E per quanto riguarda la mia casa ? Chi è il proprietario che se ....

Sto interrotto dai miei ginnastica mentale dal cancelliere . 'Signora ... hai solo sei mesi per rendere il declairation! E 'troppo tardi!' esclama . Sono sconcertato e sconvolto ... sei mesi da novembre è maggio , è marzo... la signora è confusa?

Spiega che hanno solo appuntamenti a giugno. Come questa puo essere unaspiegazione mi lascia perplesso in quanto non è certamente il mio lavoro sapere quando hanno appuntamenti.Alzo le spalle e sinceramente le chiedo 'e allora?' Sono così esausto da tutto questo... e ridicolo.

'Beh, credo che adesso dobbiamo trovare un posto prima della scadenza' lei dice ... che io traduco come 'la cosa dei sei mesi era solo un'altra prova della vostra volontà e davvero non aveva alcuna importanza, solo che non avevo voglia di guardare attraverso il calendario correttamente' .

Trova una data nel calendario dopo sprecare altri 15 minuti per spiegare al suo collega quello che è successo (per nessuna ragione , sprecando un totale di 30 minuti, moltiplicato per tuttavia molte decine di persone erano ancora in attesa all'esterno). Sicuro di nuovo quindi.

Non ho idea di cosa succederà in aprile, quando vado a dare il mio giuramento. Immagino qualcosa di troppo surreale per anticipare come sempre è con questo ufficio. Io non so nemmeno chi sta per diventare un cittadino ... Jessica o Jessica Pearl .

Dovrò cambiare tutti i miei documenti? Forse ... forse no . Forse mi limiterò a stare due persone per il resto della mia vita . Voglio dire, una volta che sei clonato giusto? Questo è avuto modo di avere alcuni vantaggi ... anche solo con la bureocrazia.

♥ Jess

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Christmas Eve gift wrapping

We're getting very close to the big day and today I spent two hours wrapping presents and still don't have everything ready.  As you can see no ribbons have been tied yet and I still have a bag full of gifts unwrapped and no where near ready to go. I have scotch tape blisters.

Luckily we're in Taranto and I have had tones of help with Sera. In fact I haven't actually seen her for more than ten minutes at a time since we've arrived but then I suppose what's nice about the holidays is also that she gets to spend time with family that she doesn't see too often. And I get a break!

Here in Taranto Babbo Natale, or Santa, arrives tonight, on Christmas Eve after a quick dinner of panzerotti and other fried foods. It's quite fun to see the kids staring out the windows of the apartments trying to catch a glimpse of his sled with their sleepy, excited eyes.

There's still a lot to do before Babbo Natale makes his debut so I'm back to the gift wrap. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas Eve with family and friends and loved ones!

Scary Morning

photo property of Eugene Feygin

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

It's 8.09am.  I'm dressed with my hair still in its messy bun from last night, and on the phone with Fabri who's telling me it's frosty out and to dress up Sera warm. She's in front of the TV watching Cars. The citofono* is buzzing.

I tell Fabri that I have to go answer but he keeps me on the line.

'Jessica, devi venire immediatamente qua./Jessica, you must immediately come here.' The surly voice of the doorman echoes down the line.

'Um, ok' I say. 'Ma ci vuole un  po perche ho la bimba e devo ancora vestirla./Um, ok, but I need a bit cause I have my daughter and need to dress her.'

'Veloce perche c'è il comune./Quick, because there is the government' He replies and hangs up.

Uh-oh.... what did I do? Panic starts to rise. I can feel the course of the adrenaline heading out to my extremities and clouding my thinking. I order myself to breathe, hang up with Fabri and turn to Sera.

'Honey, you have to help mommy dress you now because something is happening.' I say. She looks up at me immediately and to my relief cooperates with the whole procedure of diaper changes, socks trousers, sweaters and shoes only saying every once in a while 'Something is happening?'  She must have understood that I don't normally have that tone of voice or that seriousness to my demeanour.

I keep telling her that I don't know what is happening and I really don't. I envision police officers at the gate with handcuffs ready and think of which neighbours might be home to watch Sera. I wonder if they'll let me call Fabri and have him take her or what happens to minors in these circumstances.

But what circumstances?? I'm pretty sure I haven't committed any reato*, well, at least nothing that you actually get arrested for... though maybe I shouldn't have passed that English kids songs .Mp3 onto that woman at my playgroup.  I knew I couldn't trust her!  I order myself to breathe again as my imagination is wandering away from me.

We're outside and the door is locked. It is quite frosty out. I put Sera in a stroller and head to the front gate. Dead woman walking... what happens next could change my entire life... what if I'm being accused of some serious crime and have no alibi for my whereabouts for the night in question? What if I can't prove that I didn't do it?  What if I DID do it and am criminally insane?!?!?!

Breathe, breathe, breathe....

I turn the corner and am feeling slightly calmer when I don't see police vehicles and lights flashing... I don't even see a group of boys in blue with those stupid hats they wear here but instead I see what looks like a middle aged woman bike-messenger.  She is smiling and chatting with the doorman.  He's smiling and chatting too and almost looks personable... though he never smiles and chats with me.

Breathe, breathe, breathe...

She has papers in her hand.

'Jessica Herman?' She asks. I nod. 'Dovrei vedere un documento./I need to see some identification' she continues.

With my habitual stress-induced comic persona I whip out my passport, drivers' licence, identity card and  permesso di soggiorno*, and medical card all at once and reply 'Quale vorresti? ha ha ha / Which one would you like... ha ha ha.' Man, I'm such an idiot.  I look down at Sera and she's marvelling at what an idiot her mother is.

My creative mind continues to stir...

This woman is handing me a summons to appear in court. This woman is revoking my permission to stay in the country. This woman is telling me I've committed a crime. This woman is writing things down on a paper. This woman is looking at my identity card. This woman is looking at my face. This woman is...

Smiling?

Yes, she's smiling. Sadist.

Wait... maybe she's not a sadist! 'Congratulazioni Jessica. Sei cittadina Italiana. / Congratulations Jessica, you're now an Italian citizen.' Wow. I didn't see that one coming.

My stress and worry melt away and are replaced with relief and something akin to joy but mostly I'm just happy I don't have to spend the day being interrogated by Government officials. I thank her and re thank her and she's thinking that I must have really really wanted to be Italian and that this is a dream come true... which in a way it is... but I'm mostly thanking her for not having brought any of my crazy crime-show fantasies to life.  What do they say about a guilty mind? I think that if I ever did find myself in a situation like the ones I was imagining I'd never be able to get out of it!

And then it hits me. I'm Italian today. Today is the first day I'm Italian. Sono Italiana. Sono Italiana? Sono Italiana!

Oh boy. What does this mean?  Well, two things I can think of off the top of my head are:

-I can no longer live in this country and shut my eyes to the crazy political situations and conveniently declare my point of view but then finish my debate with 'But anyhow, I can't vote anyways.'  Off to the ballots I go.

-I can no longer sit in a bar during the European Cup or World Cup of soccer and cheer for the team with the cutest players.  Forza Italia!

I feel like sometimes I wore my label of  *extracommunitaria like a badge of honour... excluding me from all the negative aspects of being Italian while still being in Italy and enjoying all of the positive aspects.  Now I have the responsibility to take actions as well to help to change the negative. Like I said, oh-boy.

Now, why on earth would my doorman and the Govenment woman would conspire to scare the wits out of me before 9am?  I suppose that's not important now. Today is a celebration.

I will never give up my Canadian citizenship or my love of Canada and the idealistic role it's come to play in my mind but I have to scoot that image over slightly now for my new identity and home.  I need to figure out what this new identity means. But in the meantime...

I am Italian.  Sono Italiana.

Mamma Mia!

__

*citofono = telephone style intercom that connects you to the doorman or front door
*reato = illecit crime
*permesso di soggiorno = temporary and renewable permission to stay in Italy
*extracommunitaria = person from outside the European Union living in Italy

Halloween

Halloween isn't really a big deal here in Italy, though it is starting to catch on. Pretty much every year since I've been here I've been dressing up and hosting parties for the occasion just to be disappointed with the turnout and the costumes (or lack thereof).  The excuse I hear over and over is that Halloween isn't an Italian holiday.  Of course I know that, but doesn't having fun cross over borders?

This year I'm happy to say we had a fabulous Halloween. I was dressed as a movie star in (faux) furs, a slinky black dress and a glamorous turban.  It's so much fun to get really dressed up once in a while. I got a lot of criticism because my costume wasn't scary enough, but I honestly think that real people are much scarier than gouls and goblins could ever be!

Sera was the tooth fairy.  Well, she was actually just a normal fairy but she kept telling everyone she was the tooth fairy and giving a huge smile.  Since her Grandpa was a dentist I see that as a good sign.  Her costume was store bought as I was busy with other things this year and didn't have a chance to be super-creative and mine was put together from things I already had in the house.

We started the 'evening' at 4pm with a kiddie Halloween-birthday party where Sera filled her tummy with cheese puffs and danced and screamed along with the other kids.  Then there was a modified and rushed trick-or-treating in the cortile of our neighbourhood followed by a Halloween dinner with her aunts and uncles.  After that we head over to the Halloween Party hosted by THEWONDERFUL architect and artist Duilio Forte at his home/atelier/workshop where he was hosting several theatre/musical performances for the night. After some exploring, a lot of dancing, socialising and running around at around 11pm the toothfairy went off to the land of nod.

A Little bit of Autumn

As October is nearly coming to an end I thought I'd fill you in on our Autumn so far:

-This year I decided not to carve any pumpkins and instead to draw directly onto the pumpkins wth Sharpie markers. It's a quick solution and though I can't put candles in them they will last a little bit longer this year.  I can't wait until Halloween... Sera wants to be the tooth fairy!

-There are still flowers blooming in our tiny urban garden outside. Until last week I couldn't remember what colour these flowers would be but then as soon as they bloomed I remembered. Pumpkin orange! Perfect for the season.

-Sera and I have found a beautiful park behind her new school. Every morning we arrive a little early and park on the other side of the park so that we can walk through it and listen to the birds. After I pick her up, we do the same ont he way back to the car but this time can stop to walk across a log, collect leaves or pick the last wildflowers of the season.

-I pulled out my old Halloween decorations this week and found this old friend in the box. He's a papier machè cat I made for myself quite a few years back after reading an article about Lori Mitchell's version.  It's clear I didn't stray at all from her design so all the credit goes to her. Check out her other characters!

A Funny Thing Happened - My Beginners' Italian (anche in italiano!)

Woody Allen by Kerry Waghorn

AMICI ITALIANI!!! - VERSIONE ITALIANO IN BASSO!

I'm lucky enough to hear compliments on a regular basis on my fluency in Italian.  Either it's because Italians are very kind to foreigners learning their language or it's because I've actually mastered the language after living here for the past 9 years.

People often continue in the conversation to say how they're envious and would love to learn a second language themselves, but that it would be too complicated or they don't have time or that they're just not language minded. They tell me it's too late.  First of all, if you're still breathing I don't think it's ever too late to try something... even if you don't succeed at it.  Secondly, no language doesn't come to everyone easily and at times it can be embarrassing, but eventually with persistence, patience and a sense of humour it will come

Here is an anecdote from my own personal journey towards my current level of Italian:

I was studying 3D computer graphics shortly after arriving in Italy and all my classes were held, amphitheatre style, in Italian.  My way of following the classes and learning what I needed to know for the exams consisted of me writing everything down in notebooks, even the words I didn't understand, for review later on at home.  The notebooks from those days are classics and I with I had photographed them now to share with you. Every word is spelled incorrectly, every word misunderstood.
One of my courses was Film History.  I sat through the invention of Cinema and the Lumiere brothers and up through Charlie Chaplain without any trouble having done it all before.  The course was going OK and I felt confident that my Italian was also improving.
One day the teacher came in and started his lecture about the films of Woody Allen.  I was a bit surprised because I didn't realise that Woody Allen, though a great film maker, merited an entire 3 hour lecture to himself.  'I film di Woody Allen' this and 'I film di Woody Allen' that. The teacher went on and on.  I put it down to cultural differences.... maybe Italians LOVE Woody Allen??
When the next weeks lecture started much in the same way.... with 'I film di Woody Allen' I was confused and worried.  Surely a culture couldn't be obsessed with Woody Allen.... I peeked over to a neighbours notebook and to my horror found these words:
I film hollywoodiano
The translation is not the films of Woody Allen but rather the films of Hollywood.  That's why the lectures made no sense.  I was certain that Woody Allen had nothing to do with 2001 a Space Odyssey.

And on that note, as a special treat to my Italian readers I will attempt to translate this post, as best I can into my adoptive country's language... please forgive me.

If you also want to learn Italian here's a good place to start.

-------

Sono molto fortunata perché ricevo spesso i complimenti sul mio Italiano.  Non so se è perché i italiani sono generosi con i complimenti oppure perché veramente sono bilingue dopo 9 anni di residenza qui a Milano. 

I stessi che mi fanno complimenti dicono che sono invidiosi e vorranno imparare anche loro una seconda lingua (sopratutto Inglese). Dicono che non c'è tempo oppure non sono bravi ad imparare. Dicono che è troppo tardi, ormai.  Nel mio parere, se respiri ancora non e mai troppo tardi per qualsiasi cosa nuova... almeno di provare anche se i risultati non sono quelli che aspetti.  Poi credo anche che imparando una lingua nuova è difficile si, ma con pazienza e un senso di umorismo si può fare.

Adesso vi racconto una piccola storia di una mia prima esperienza in Italiano.

Appena sono arrivata in Italia ho iniziato un corso di Grafica 3D. Parlavo il minimo Italiano immaginabile.  I miei corso erano in una grande Aula con tantissimi studenti.  Ho deciso di seguire i corsi scrivendo tutto quanto che sentivo passare per le orecchie su un quaderno e poi a casa mettere insieme i pezzi del puzzle nella mia mente.  I quaderni di quei tempi sono pieni di parole miscelati, scritti male e tradotti in maniera brutale.Dovevo seguire un corso di storia di cinema.  L'ho seguivo dal introduzione dei fratelli Lumiere a Charlie Chaplain e oltre. Mi sembrava che tutto stava andando bene. Ero contenta che finalmente cominciavo a capire Italiano.Un giorno il docente inizia a parlare dei film di Woody Allen. E parla, e parla, e poi parla ancora dei film di Woody Allen.... ero un pò sconvolta perché anche se Woody Allen e un bravo filmaker, non pensavo che meritava 3 ore di classe.  Magari i Italiani AMANO davvero Woody Allen?La settimana dopo la lesione inizia nel stesso modo. I film di Woody Allen. I film di Woody Allen. I film di Woody Allen.  Non potevo credere!! Guardo il quaderno del tizio al mio fianco e inorridito vedo queste parole:
 I film hollywoodiano.Al mio orecchio Inglese i due frasi erano uguali.  Adesso ho capito il motivo per quale le lezione non avevano senso.  E poi ero quasi sicuro che Woody Allen non avevo da fare con 2001 Odissea Nello Spazio.

Allora, amici italiani.... sto facendo il mio meglio per condividere questa esperienza con voi per farti vedere che siamo tutti idioti mentre impariamo nuove lingue e non dovete temere niente!  Al massimo fai un gaffe... ma la vita è troppo breve per non provare... per avere de rimpianti... o per dubitare.

Se vuoi imparare inglese davvero, farlo.... se no, smetti di dirti che vorresti farlo.
E se vuoi farlo puoi provare con questo sito. Sto usandolo per migliorare il mio Francese ;-)

The right choices for our children

trying on the dress-up clothes on the first day of school

I mentioned last week that Sera has been having a hard time adjusting to her new daycare. There have been tears and tantrums and nightmares and emotionally it's exhausting.  I leave her in the morning and then go back the the car with a heavy heart and need to spend a little while centring myself again before I can start my day.

Yesterday I was at a friends house and she asked me how it was going and I started to spew out all the negative things that I have seen in her new school in comparison to the old. More kids per teacher, less space to play physically, less structure, less attention to hygiene, less organised activities, infrequent diaper changes (yes, she's back in diapers... Forget about all my potty-training attempts), over-administration, strict and loud teachers and of course, Sera telling me she preferred the one from last year.

Well it's still early days as it's only been 2 weeks, but I realised while talking how much I'm disliking the new school, as well. I've been trying to ignore my negative sensations because I have been wanting to give it a chance. Also, it is significantly cheaper than the school she went to last year, which is definitely a motivating factor.  I'm also worried that by pulling her from this school and returning to the old one she will learn that if you don't like something you can just quit.... But is that true or just a paranoia that I'm harbouring? She's only 2,5 does she really understand that school is supposed to be for 10 months instead of 1?

Today was a bit better. We went in with dad too so I could get his opinion.  He confirmed that it's different from the old one but said it didn't seem too bad. Sera was happier than other days and though she cried a bit she stopped before we left and seemed excited to start the day. I also saw a sculpture she had made (some goo on cardboard) and felt a bit relieved that they're doing some creative work with her. 

My question is, do I pull her out and put her back in the old private school or hang-tight and keep her where she is? And how do I know which decision in right? Everyone says to 'do what's best for the child' but that's not always so clear.

I don't want to be the crazy over-protective mum who doesn't let her child face difficulties but I also don't want to be the mum who prefers to have a new pair of shoes or two over the quality of daycare of her child.

Mums! Please leave comments! I need your advise! What would you do???! 

What I've Been Doing Wednesday

Has it really been a week since I've posted? Naughty me!  Here's a quick catchup on what you've missed:

Sera started 'Sezione Primavera' which is a grade between Pre-school and Kindergarten for kids born from January to May. In Italy the grade a child is in is determined by the year they were born and not from September to September like in Canada.  Sera was born in 2011 so can't qualify for real Kindergarten but is too old for Preschool/daycare cause she's basically at the same level as the kids born 28 days earlier than her.  Sezione Primavera is for the kids born from January though the springtime of the year following who will turn three this year but don't officially qualify for actual Kindergarten.

All this said, the insermento* is going horribly.  Sera seems to hate her class and cries a lot every morning when I drop her off. This morning she grabbed onto my leg and told me 'I don't like school.' through her tears.  It's really tough for both of us.  My heart breaks a little and when I leave I stand outside the door until I hear her stop crying. The teachers say she doesn't cry long but instead curls up and tries to sleep on the couch... which I imagine can't be easy in a small room with twenty loud and crazy kids.  I hope it gets better soon especially since last year she loved her old school and was very excited to go every morning.

--

When the weather gets colder and the leaves start changing colours I have a few things I always instinctively do.  I start researching soup recipes, thinking about getting out my winter clothes (though I never do until it's too late and I'm freezing in the house in a tank-top) and I drag out my pink-polka dot bag with all of my knitting needles.  That's my official cue that the fall has arrived.

This week I have started a new project... a scarf and hat for Sera. The wool was gifted to me by an amazing crochet artist friend and x-neighbour named Daniela Cerri several years ago for my birthday and has been crying out to be used now for ages. It's very woolly and fluffy and I've used an amazing pompom tutorial for some creative finishes so keep your eyes open for the completed work... In the meantime here's a peek.... though it's not quite finished Sera has told me 'It's my favorite!'


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On a spiritual journey update I have started Yoga classes on Mondays and an definitely enjoying them. The practise is pretty much one-on-one with the teacher and is very very meditation centred. It's good because I'm already quite involved in my daily meditations so it's just a bonus that I have even more clarity during the class.  Speaking of meditation, a new series with Deepak Chopra 'The Secrets of Mediattion' started on Monday so I'm super excited for that. It's not to late to join in and it's really really accessible to beginners. And it's free!  The last 21 day meditation challenge I did with Deva Premal and Miten was surprising.  I didn't expect to enjoy it as much as I did and definitely didn't expect to adopt a mantra practise, but by day 6 I was 100% loving it. It's taught me that it's worth trying something new and letting go of your prejudices.

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Here's a quick list on the rest of what's been keeping me away from you:

What I've been watching: Continuum Season 2

What I've been reading: A brilliant article on Painful Periods and an alternative to disposable sanitary products by Christina at A Clean Plate - I had been meaning to write a similar article but couldn't have said it better. She talks about diet at the beginning of the article but then goes onto talking about something I love love love...

What I've been working on: Animating the kiss scene from Hick!

What app I've been using: Duolingo to brush up on my French. It's so embarrassing to have come from Quebec and not speak a word!

Where I've been: We spent the weekend in Piemonte near Barolo drinking amazing wines and eating tartufo with friends. Yum!


*inserimento is a period of time where a child is introduced slowly to a new school environment by gradually increasing the time away from the mother on a daily basis.  This period normally lasts 2 weeks.

Hangar Bicocca - A Cultural Day Out In Milan

La Sequenza

On Saturday the family and I had a chance to go to the Bicocca Hanger to see some contemporary art.  I'd never been and have been trying to find some time to go for a while now so it was all very exciting.

Upon arriving you're greeted by Fausto Melotti's La Sequenza, an impressive sculpture which acts as a beautiful entryway to this hangar converted into art space.

The Visitors - photo courtesy of www.hangarbicocca.org

The exhibit they have currently running in the first hall is called The Visitors by Ragnar Kjartansson.  My first impression was very mixed when I walked past the black curtains and into the artwork.  The nine lifesize video projections of musicians playing a composition together but each completely isolated from the other seemed very very intimate to me. The music was melancholic and the setting of each musician equally full of dispair.  The entire work last over an hour and unfortunately, Sera didn't take very well to the dark room and the projections, so I couldn't stay too long, but I think I'll return and soak up the entire experience. This exhibition runs until November 17th.

The Seven Heavenly Palaces

Another of the permanent exhibitions can be found inside by passing through the first hall to the back of the hangar. Anselm Kiefer's The Seven Heavenly Palaces is a huge installation of reinforced concrete towers ranging from 14 to 18 meters each. As soon as you enter the vast hall you are stunned into silence. It is bleak, desolate and very very impressive.  Sera refused to climb down from her stroller. It was probably a good thing as some of the towers don't look very stable at all! I suppose she felt the sensations that the artist was transmitting as well.

We rounded off the morning by playing in the Hangar's kids centre which boasts a large collection of art supplies, art books and organised activities for kids over four and then ate a lovely and delicious brunch at the Dopolavoro Bicocca. The plates are ordered a-la-carte but juice and american coffee are included. It's a lovely setting for lunch.

Overal a wonderful day out and we will certainly return for future exhibitions (and I'll sneak back to see the Visitors.

A Tuscan Sun

 We just got back from 5 days in Tuscany.  What a wonderfully relaxing trip!

After arriving at Le Tegole, located near Riparbella with its own private 2km driveway, I didn't move at all except to venture out to some of the wonderful restaurants nearby... and why would I? The agroturismo is actually a collection of 11 farm houses on a hill that have been converted into rooms and apartments.  We had a place with it's own large kitchen, master bedroom and bath.  The structure also boasts its own restaurant, bar, two swimming pools a children's play area and a tennis court. We stayed there along with some other friends and when Sera wasn't swimming or swinging and sliding, she was playing happily with our friends' daughters or exploring the large grounds.

After 3 nights we moved further towards Florence to visit my hubby's cousins in Certaldo. When we were there we didn't do much more than spend time with family, but we did stay at the lovely hotel Certaldo which is an old mill on the river that passes through the town.  It too had a pool and though the weather was changing we still managed to get in another dip.  

I love going to Tuscany because regardless as to whether you're touring, visiting friends or family you're always going to manage to eat and drink well, and even the drive from one spot to another is breathtaking. 

Bindi Cafe -

the bar/cafè

I recently had the pleasure of discoving the Bindi shop/cafe in San Giuliano Milanese.

Aunt Jemima syrup, YUM!... but 9€ is too expensive!
I should import it!

You may know San Giuliano only because you've passed by the exit while on the Tangienziale on the way to somewhere interesting or because you had to stop there to pick up something from IKEA, but the area, previously entirely rural or industrial, is now having a growth-spurt and many new shops are opening up. One of them is the Bindi shop and cafe.

It's a huge space with the shop half offering cakes and frozen foods, housewares such as teapots, cake decoration tools and books, candies, gourmet applejuice and even wines!  The cafe side boasts a huge array of pastries, cakes, sweets, danish, cheesecakes, cookies, coffee and gourmet coffees as well as bagels (a rarity in Italy, and impossible to find), salads and sandwiches at lunch.

We were there for the Sunday brunch where we were presented with a huge platter of dishes, including bacon and eggs, as well as various other savry treats and followed up by the sweet table.  The price is a bit on the high side at 17€ per platter, but they are happy for you to share and there's more than enough food to do so! I ate so much I didn't even have dinner that night!

I hope you enjoy this hidden spot as much as I did. Maybe I'll see you there sometime for lunch!

the shop

Bindi is a brand of cake, coffee and deserts which can be found in supermarkets, restaurants and bars throughout Italy and the world. The cafe and shop are open daily from 6:30am to 8pm.  They are located in Via dela Liberazione 1, San Giuliano Milanese.

For more info visit their site here.

August in Milan

Abandoned houses

Every street a vacant lot

The air unbreathable and choking

Scalding as a furnace

And thick as it's fumes

The children's games are long gone

Taking their voices with them

A swing hangs lonely

Its only friend the blinding, scorching, mirrored slide

reflecting the cyan sky screaming for clouds

Computer desks, their chairs still spinning

Power down from standby

Passwords will need to be reset

When it's all over

Earning forgotten

My heels sink inches into the asphalt 

A string of tar grabs on for transport

It too trying to escape

A bead of sweat has set up camp

Under my lip above my chin

No energy remains to wipe it away

My arms and legs itch and bleed

With raw open wounds

Victims to vampire, tiger, dragon bugs

Mutated beyond recognition

Stay indoors 

Move slow

Hide

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Sounds apocalyptic doesn't it? No, it's just my experience with Milan in August

Every year Italians take advantage of the heat and escape the cities in the month of August for their holidays. Most go to the sea or the mountains and even most offices and businesses are closed for most of the month. August is probably the worst time to visit Italy because the cities are functioning at their very minimum and the resort areas and tourist spots are packed to the brim and very very expensive.  

Milan in particular is famous for being very, very uncomfortable in August. A lot of services are put on hold and even shops and restaurants can be closed down for weeks on end. The worst aspect of Milan in August however is the heat teetering between 35 and 45°celcius most days with high levels of humidity. It doesn't take very much time outside before that type of heat makes you feel like you want to faint.  The tar in the pavement of the sidewalks literally melts it's so hot.

I actually happen to like the empty city in August. There's no traffic and a sense of being in another reality. But then, I have air conditioning at home and am naturally hermit-like. There's even a hot line number 020202 and website where you can find out what's open provided by the city council!

For all you Milanese out there, you know what I'm talking about and I wish you a very happy 'Vacanze' season.  I'll be holding down the fort like most years and 'gasp!' staying behind this August. 

Here's my main plan for the month:

• potty train Sera
• frequent trips to the community pools
• hanging out in the park (slathed with bugspray) on cooler days

Postcards from Cattolica

We just got back from a sunny week on the beach in Cattolica, Italy. Despite the name, this resort town is not a haven for religious zealots, quite the contrary in fact, unlike most cities in Italy I didn't see a single church during our stay.

No, the Catholic religion isn't the main draw for this resort town. The main draw is the beach. And oh! How the Italians worship their beloved Mare and Spiaggia you might start thinking that this was a religious experience after-all! The entire seafront is tiled with stabilimenti balinear (bathing establishments... private access beaches) each one with rows upon rows of sun chairs and umbrellas set up like pews to worship the sun and sea. This resort city did start out as a stop on pilgrimages (hence the name) but has been a tourist haven and beach destination since the end of the first world war.  Each hotel is affiliated with a beach and when you arrive the first day you're given your seat (back row for us) for the rest of your stay. You can leave your sand toys and towels overnight and find them fresh and ready the next day for more fun in the sun.

Cattolica is not a place I would have enjoyed a few years ago.  The beaches are crowded despite having rented your own little space.  The water isn't crystal or clear or even blue for that matter, but more of a cloudy forest green.  The sand is nicer than I've seen on Puglia's free beaches in that it's cleaned daily (you're paying for that too) but it's nothing compared to my exotic beach experiences of Australia and Thailand or my childhood memories of time spent in Florida or New England.  Regardless, it was sandy enough for Sera to enjoy playing in the shade for hours on end every morning of our stay and get herself breaded with it like a squirming ,laughing chicken breast, ready for the fryer.

In the evenings the city cools down but the nightlife really heats up. After dinner swarms of people take to the pedestrian shopping streets and boardwalk which seem to stretch all the way to Rimini and beyond and just wander around, trying to digest the traditionally abundant vacation food consumed.  I have to admit that we overate as well, consuming starters, first and second courses at every meal, including breakfast!  There were young people everywhere and bars and restaurants were full but there wasn't the same rowdy feeling you can sense in cities like Las Vegas or several islands of Greece.  All in all it seemed like a place for young people on beach based holidays, families with children and teens who hadn't quite ventured out on their own yet, but who were allowed to socialise with the friends they'd met on vacation after sundown without chaperone's.

As a young mum (I like that saying better than a mother of young children as it implies that I'm young as well), the place was fantastic and a perfect family destination. Sera had the time of her life!  In every waking moment the girl was having a blast.  Between jumping in the city's play-fountain, swimming in the sea, playing in the sand, splashing in the pool, making friends in baby-dance, playing in the kids' room and consuming as much ice cream as she could manage the girl just barely had enough time to get in her naps and overnight sleep.  She seemed carefree and entertained the entire time.

Now, that's not to say that I was carefree and entertained. Going on holiday with a two-year-old is not much different than staying at home with a two year old in that it's a lot of work for mum. If Sera was in the pool I was in the pool monitoring her jumps and dives (she's getting quite good but I'm still terrified she'll smash into the wall).  If she was playing in the sand I was on 'stay in the shade Sera!' and brushing sand from her eyes mode.  If she was in the ocean I was on the lookout for crabs, stones she could step on, and her head bobbing under. In other words, lots of hard work... but seeing how much fun she was having and in the moments I did just relax and let things go I was totally and completely happy.

The reason we chose Cattolica this year also had a lot to do with Sera's grandparents and the proximity to their home in Puglia. Cattolica is just about half way driving for all of us.  I think that with the way things went this week we'll probably think about doing the same thing next year.  Maybe we'll see you there!

Gardaland with a 2 year old

We were in Gardaland recently having received tickets as a gift from a friend some of the questions I'm asked by any other mums and dads I mention it to is 'did Sera enjoy it / did you have fun / how was it?' so here goes:

Gardaland is Italy's biggest and well known theme park located next to a whole bunch of newer theme parks by Lago di Garda, a 1.5 hour drive from Milan.  The lake in itself hosts a billion reasons for visiting, but the theme park attracts even more tourists to the area and those who are looking to spend part of the day getting away from all that natural beauty.

The park itself boasts loads of rides and attractions for teens and adults and I think that that's really it's main draw.  There are a whole load of thrill rides and roller coasters and the yearly investment seems to be in those types of attractions. I guess the target audience isn't parents of little kiddies, but rather the 6 and over crown, and especially the 14 and over crowd.

In terms of the little guys, there is an area called fantasy land with a few train rides, a banana 'boat' which spins, but not on water, some horse ride, a few plane rides and other really really boring rides for the parents but which toddlers really enjoy.  Sera was frightened by one of the plane rides but I was on it with her so it was fine.  In other areas of the park you can find shows including a Madagascar branded circus act, a magic show with bubbles and a puppet show that the little ones can enjoy. There are also two carousels, a Pirates of the Caribbean copy and a magic house that gives the illusion of flipping upside down, all of which a 2 year old can ride on.... though at times on some of the rides I was thinking that we were being quite irresponsible parents subjecting Sera to strong images and ideas. I was terrified of the sea monster at the end of the pirate ride and Sera just said 'again!'.

We had lunch at the burger restaurant Covo dei Bucaneri near the pirates ride and later, after Sera fell asleep from all the fun we had a surprisingly good dinner (I had steak) at the Locanda di Corsaro Nero, also near the pirate ride.  Though the prices are more expensive than outside the park, both lunch and dinner exceeded expectations and far surpassed anything I ever ate at a Disney resort.

Sera really enjoyed the day and we had a great time watching her enjoy herself.  Her favourite by far was one of the carousels where every time it stopped she got to choose another animal or seat without having to get off and get back in line. She liked the princess carriage the most.

Seeing how it's so close I figure we'll probably go back another time, maybe when she's 6 or so so that she can enjoy more of the rides and have a stronger memory of the day.  I'm happy we didn't pay for the tickets however as there was a vast majority of the park we didn't get to see or enjoy yet.  All in all it was a really lovely day and I'd give it a 8 out of 10 and recommend it to friends.

Lido di Segirno

We spent this past Sunday at the Lido di Segrino after purchasing a promotional package for entry and lunch.  On their website you can see similar promotions from 20-25€ depending on what you're interested in doing or eating.

It takes about 50 minutes to drive from Milan and can be a nice family day out. We waded in the beautiful lake, ate a light lunch, swam in the little pool and even went out for a canoe ride.

If I'm being entirely critical however I'd have to say that we probably wouldn't return.  With only a little tiny bit of effort the place could have been amazing and instead the establishment had overlooked some critical details. The shoreline wasn't maintained well with the grass only cut and polished until about 15 meters to the water and then inexplicably left overgrown. There was also some very large sharp rocks which could have easily been moved out of the way of potential bathers and bits of rubbish which had floated ashore that was not removed. The pool is very small at roughly 3x6 meters in diameter, about 110cm deep at all parts and wasn't supervised. Therefore it was full of rowdy teenagers and adults splashing jumping and generally being anti-social (and quite dangerous actually).  At the restaurant the waiter was confused and couldn't remember table numbers.  The bathrooms weren't clean (a pet-peeve of mine, it can ruin my day).

On the plus side, lakes are not really appreciated in Italy the same way they are in Canada and I was thrilled to be able to share some time in a canoe with the people I love most.  We did encounter some high winds on the way back to shore and only just beat a storm (check out the sky in the photo!), but it was still a lot of fun. Especially since I wasn't the one paddling!

It's a bit of a shame because the place could have been a 10 out of 10 in terms of a family fun day, but instead it can only claim a 6 out of 10 and for just silly reasons. I hope that they figure out some of these issues so that we can go back and check it out another time but as it is now, I'll keep looking for my paradise by the lake.

Wine, cheese and Salumi party

I entertain at home quite a bit. I've thrown more than a few dinner parties and am always on the lookout for new recipes or presentation ideas for my next event.  Every few years though I decide to have a bigger affair and throw myself a birthday party. My most recent was this past Saturday evening.

First off we went to do the grocery shopping. Do you think we bought enough wine?

I decided to put all of our saved wood wine crates to use and use them to present the food instead of using plates and bowls. Here's an example of some of the crackers on display:

We chose to use real wine glasses instead of plastic ones and so I needed a system to be able to have each guest remember which glass was theirs. I have recently been playing around with recycling plastics by shrinking it in the oven and then turning it into jewellery so I thought that the same technique could be put to good use with the wine 'charms'.

I wrote out 30 words of characteristics that somellier's use when describing wines which can also be used to describe people, cut them all out and shrank them.  I then attached each to the base of a wine glass with 'patafix/funtack' which is a gum-like reusable sticking compound easily found in any office supply store. 

When the guests arrived I had each of them choose a glass with a characteristic that they thought best described them. It was fun because everyone remembered which glass was theirs and not all of the characteristics were entirely flattering. .  I guess if you turn up late to one of my events you deserve some gentle teasing... how does one choose between shallow and vicious?

We had a baby buffet for the 4 kids who attended and some outdoor toys set up. It was fun that they could choose what to eat all by themselves and kept them quite busy for a while.

 Everyone seemed to have a wonderful time, all of the food was eaten and people even asked me for the recipe for my dip - the only thing I actually had to prepare for the evening. The rest of the food was salumi, cheeses or raw (fruit and veg).  Since I also put out a lot of different types of crackers and breads to be eaten with caponata, patè or cheeses I made sure to lay out some brown paper on the table and handwrite the names of the different sauces and salsas so people would know what they were eating.

It really was a super easy and fun event to host and really a hit.  I love that there were only a few plates to clean up (but of course, all those wine glasses needed hand washing) and that we could use the space outside our house.  I could have never had the same 30 people in my tiny loft.

Special thanks go out to my hubby for being the best wine -server and DJ, to my friend Stefy who although couldn't be there lent me 18 wine glasses and didn't flinch when I only returned 16 and my special surprise guest and fantastic helper - my mom - who flew all the way to Milan from Montreal Canada just to help celebrate!

what to do with used clothing

Though for some reason spring is refusing to raise it's sleepy head this year and here in Milan we continue to be soaked with rain I, nonetheless have a  bit of spring fever and have been itching to do the 'cambio stagione'* so I can pack off and away all my winter stuff and pull out more summery wears.

I have a pain in my heart every time the seasons change and I pull out Sera's old clothes that I put away six months earlier in the hopes that they would still fit. Maybe only 10% ever do.

What do you do with kids clothes that don't fit anymore?  I'm not talking about that cute sweater your aunt made or that dress that she wore to her first birthday, but dingy socks, plain white t-shirts, corduroy trousers which you aren't attached to emotionally?

Here in Milan there are 340 yellow bins scattered around the city that accept used clothes.  The clothes are then passed onto Caritas Ambrosiana e Compagnia delle Opere, who take care of their reuse and recycling.  I take a bag or 2 of clothes there every year and it's a wonderful service for clearing out your closets and making sure your clothes help someone who needs it.

Another possibility I can across the other day was while I was at H&M, the clothing store. They're currently running an initiative to collect used clothes in exchange for coupons on your next purchase. For each bag of clothing you bring them you get a 5€ coupon for your next purchase over €40.  They then take the clothes and make sure that they're used by people in need as well. If that isn't incentive to do the right thing, I don't know what is!  

H&M clothes collection Initiative : H&M Concious

light & easy mint and garlic meatballs

I had a helper for peeling the garlic

 Here's what you'll need:

500g minced beef

large bunch of fresh mint (stems removed)

2 cloves of garlic

1 egg

1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil

large pinch of sea salt

30g of Parmesan cheese (the real kind really is much better than the powder... for all of you not living in Italy)

ground black pepper to taste

1/2 cup of breadcrumbs

splash of milk

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Preheat your oven to 250 degrees. Blend all the ingredients together in a food processor.

Form little meatballs or meat logs and place them on a oven-paper covered cookie sheet.  The smaller the forms you make the faster they will cook.

Pop it in the oven for 15-20 minutes... turning once halfway

Slice and serve - here I've paired it with a garden-fresh salad and boiled seasoned potatoes.

Buon Appetito!